Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Change of heart?

Dh thinks we should be responsible. Responsible? I just don't think it would be irresponsible to bring a baby into this world that I know I would love with all my heart. Sure money would be tight, sure our car may need to be a tad bigger, but is that what matters? I just don't know? I told him he shouldn't have done that to me because I did get my hopes up even though I told myself not to. This is the one area you can't mess with my emotions because I feel so strongly about it. I'm going to keep talking to him about it. To tell him exactly how I feel. I know he would love another baby, but he can't get past the fact that he thinks it would be irresponsible. Maybe it would, but my heart doesn't think so....

Anyway, enough about that... I'm getting too emotional just thinking about it. Maybe my hormones are on overdrive!! :) In knitting news I have been working on socks. I have four socks started right now! I just started a navy blue pair for a co-worker. She wanted some, but didn't quite know how to ask me. She said she was hoping I would put some on ebay, so she could buy them!! :) I told her I would make her some, no charge!!! She is so sweet, almost like a surrogate grandmother. I'm using Knit Picks Essential sock yarn in Navy, and the pattern is from Nancy Bush's Knitting Vintage Socks...

Gentleman's sock
Gentleman's Sock with Lozenge pattern.

I also have got it in my head that I want to knit this....

Vogue Fall 2005 Magazine
Shawl Collared Jacket by Debbie Bliss.

If I get some birthday money from my dad I'm going to the yarn shop! I've just fallen in love with this sweater! I like the brown, but I'm going to check out the other colors when I'm there. I don't know if I'd get bored knitting two brown sweaters. Well, not much else! Write more later....


  1. It is SO hard to say no to the "I want another baby" whisperings in your head. I get it every time I see a baby. Even though I know I can't handle any more than I already have, it still aches inside when I see other babies. Men feel it a little, but not like us. Be patient with your guy, he can't help it, his fears come just as natural to them as our lack of fear comes to us.

  2. You definitely have a conundrum here. On the one hand, if you had another baby you would love it all you could and give it the best life you can. Oh the other hand, we're entering into a strange time in our country. With the cost of gas and oil going up, and not expected to come down, everything will become more expensive. Our environment is in rough shape, and the quality of air and water are going down. Did you see on Oprah that baby diapers take 500 years to decompose?

    I don't have children, because I have thought alot about the world my child would inherit. It scares me, and I know that no matter how much love I lavish on my child, there is no way I can protect them from things beyond my control.

    If you need to have that feeling of a babe falling asleep on you and you clearly have a lot of love to share, have you considered looking into adoption and sharing that love with a child who otherwise would be alone?

    I've been checking in on your blog for a knit some beautiful things. :)

    ps-- you may want to check into password protected comments to stop that spam.